


Love Sees Not With The Eyes

by Elerrina174



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Blind Character, Blindness, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Love, Love Confessions, Lyrium, Lyrium Addiction, Lyrium Withdrawal, MGiT, Mages (Dragon Age), Modern Character in Thedas, Modern Girl in Thedas, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Smut, Templars (Dragon Age), The Conclave, The Fade, Torture, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 17:14:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21851908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elerrina174/pseuds/Elerrina174
Summary: When I Consider How My Light Is Spent“When I consider how my light is spent,Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,And that one talent which is death to hideLodged with me useless, though my soul more bentTo serve therewith my Maker, and presentMy true account, lest He returning chide...”-John MiltonCecelia had a hard time making it in the world as was but when an explosion suddenly leaves her blind it seems to take more than just her sight. Now she has to make her way in a crumbling world without the guidance of her vision. Confused and struggling to find her way she’ll need to rely on others to be more than just her eyes.
Relationships: Cullen Rutherford & Original Character(s), Cullen Rutherford & Original Female Character(s), Cullen Rutherford/Original Character(s), Cullen Rutherford/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 109





	1. Green

**Author's Note:**

> I thought it would be interesting to write a blind character and so this story was born. Comments and Kudos appreciated!

Green. Green is the color of new life. In spring everything brown turns green to show that it is alive. The green of the season spawns more colors as the new buds soon turn into a rainbow of flowers. Green is supposed to be beautiful, but this green was wrong. It was sickly and striking. It burned the skin and stung the eyes. Cecelia was looking right at the bright flash of green when it happened. She had gone outside the Temple for a breath of fresh air. As she took a step toward the doors to make her way back inside bright light started to shine through the Temple windows. She paused and looked directly through one of the windows to try and find the source. Everything went deathly silent for a split second before the world exploded in blinding green light. The Temple walls shattered in front of her as the explosion shook the mountain top. She didn’t even have time to scream as the shock wave sent her body flying through the air like a rag doll. The impact of her limp body on the rocky, snow-covered ground knocked her out and she faded into unconsciousness.

She roused to her body trying to suck in weak shaky breaths. The air smelled of sulfur and tingled with magic. Her lungs burned and it felt as if her throat was almost closed. The air was cold and the ground was wet and frigid around her yet she was hot. Her body felt as if it were on fire, every part of her burned with a dull pain. She could hear almost nothing over the ringing in her ears that were throbbing in pain. She finally blinked open her eyes but the world was dark. She was surrounded by pitch-black nothingness. She couldn’t see a single glimmer of light anywhere. She tried to move but her sore bruised body protested in loud shouts of pain that coursed through her. She gave up and relaxed back onto the ground. She closed her eyes and focused on simply breathing.

She didn’t know how long it had been as she had slipped back into unconsciousness before she was stirred by shouts. She couldn’t tell if they were close by or far away because her ears were still ringing and all of the sounds around her were dampened because of it. She tried to focus on the noises she was hearing. As far as she could tell it was still dark. She needed help and if they couldn’t see her she didn’t know how they were going to find her. She couldn't cry out and she was in too much pain to move. All she could do was continue to lie where she was on the ground and hope they stumbled over her. She waited and waited for help but no one came. She knew people were still around her as she could still hear shouting. Finally, the shouting got a little bit louder. To the point where she could start to make out some of what was being said.

“They’re all dead…” a voice was saying.

“...Find anyone besides…” someone else answered. It sounded like at least two men talking.

“...all burnt…” was the reply.

Cecelia strained her ears to try and hear more.

“Did you check…”

“No sir, but…”

“... keep looking…”

That was as much of the conversation as she could hear. At least it sounded like they were looking for survivors. Survivors of whatever had happened to her. All she could remember was a blinding green light. She tried to look around again, to find any source of light but there was nothing. She didn't know how they were searching without torches in the oppressive darkness.

“Sir!”

Cecelia nearly jumped at the sudden voice. The first thing she had heard clearly since the explosion.

“There’s someone over here!”

The owner of the voice was shouting from close by. Celia opened her eyes and looked toward the voice but still saw nothing.

“She looks to be alive sir, hurt but alive.”

The man started talking quieter, the person he was talking to must have come closer. A gentle touch soon had Cecelia jumping and letting out a whimper of pain.

“You’ll be alright, we’ll get you out of here.” A voice said, even closer this time. “Gather up everyone else, we’ll hold the line here until we can find some way to stem the flow of demons. I’ll take this woman and pass her off to the healers to care for. I’m sure Cassandra will want to talk to her once she’s able.” Strong arms pried their way under her limp body and lifted her with ease off of the ground. “She’s very warm…”

“It looks as though she’s been burned, sir. Obviously not as bad as the others, but still.” How could they tell she had been burned in the dark?

“Thank you Rylen, finish up here and then go reinforce the men at the rift.”

“Aye, sir,”

She felt cool air begin to brush over her and knew they were moving. Whoever was carrying her had a frigid chest, probably because it was covered by what felt like a metal breastplate. She could tell they were wearing gloves too. She could feel the material covering their fingers where they dug into her bare skin. Most of her clothes had been burned off by the explosion, she knew that only because she could clearly feel the freezing mountain air against her skin. Yet her skin felt hot.

Whoever was carrying her slipped which caused them to squeeze her in their arms. Cecelia cried out in pain as their strong hands dug even harder into her burned skin. They fumbled for a second before catching their balance and pausing. The hands that held her released their strong hold and she was shifted in their arms before they began to walk again. She still had no idea how everyone seemed to be functioning in the dark. What had happened to the two moons of Thedas? It was so dark she couldn’t even tell if her eyes were open or closed anymore.

After a while, new sounds began to assault her ears. It sounded like they were coming up on a camp that was bustling with tons of people. Heavy footsteps that crunched through the snow, metal clanging against metal, shouting, screams, all of the sounds were jumbling together to make one loud grating song in her ears. Her head was throbbing in pain and she moved in the arms that carried her to press her ear against the cool metal clad chest next to her head.

“Commander!”

The person carrying her stopped. She assumed he must be the Commander the person was yelling to.

“Cassandra,” the chest under her ear rumbled.

“Who is this?” A familiar woman’s voice replied.

“A survivor, we found her-“

“A survivor?! Of the conclave?!” The woman’s voice became louder and angry. “Bring her to the prison immediately, we’ll need to interrogate her along with the other one.”

“Cassandra-“

“Did she apparently fall out of the Fade as well?”

“We-“

“Never mind,” Her voice became a low growl. “She’s lucky I don’t kill her for what she's done. ”

“Cassandra!” The Commander shouted. “She needs to see a healer first before anything else. She’s badly injured.”

“It serves her right for what she’s done. No healer, she goes straight to the prison.”

“You’re letting Solas take care of the other woman.”

“That’s different,” she snapped back. “The other prisoner has the mark on her hand, Solas thinks it could be our only way of closing the breach. So we need her alive, no matter how guilty she is and how much I think she should pay for her crimes. This one looks to be normal, nothing is glowing. If she dies then justice is done and we still have the other one to interrogate.”

“What if she’s innocent?” The Commander countered.

“Innocent?” Cassandra sneered, “The Temple of Sacred Ashes has been destroyed, the Divine is dead along with tens of other people and the sky has a hole in it! Someone is responsible Commander, and she is one of only two survivors.”

“But why would she or the other prisoner do this to themselves? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Madmen rarely make sense Commander.”

“Nonetheless Cassandra she is injured and I am bringing her to the healers. You can’t kill her for her crimes if she’s already dead.”

Cecelia’s leg brushed past something as the Commander began to walk again. The noise of the camp still surrounded her as they moved through it. Eventually, she could tell she had been brought into a tent as the air was a bit warmer. Wherever she had been brought however was filled with screams of pain and smelled of blood and burnt flesh. She wrinkled her nose at the smell and shifted in the Commander’s arms.

“Healer!”

“Commander Cullen, how can I- oh, put her here.”

Celia was gently laid out on a cot and she soon felt hands all over her as the healer stripped her of her burnt clothes and covered her with a blanket.

“We’ll take good care of her Commander.” The healer said still with her hands on Cecelia.

“I’m posting a guard at the door just in case.” She felt the cold air from the rise and fall of the tent flap brush over her as he left.

After that Cecelia was in and out of consciousness as the healers worked on her. She was forced to drink healing potions which tasted bitter and made her feel warm inside. She was wiped off and reclothed. Her head wound was cleaned up and bandaged. When they were done with her she felt much better. Her skin no longer burned, her ears weren’t ringing anymore and her head was throbbing much less. At one point her eyes were pried open against her will but she didn’t see anything, which still confused her. She had just started to fall asleep when she heard the rustle of fabric and felt frigid air seep into the tent. It made her shiver and sink even further beneath her blankets.

“Maker Commander, you look terrible. Come sit here so I can-“

“No thank you, healer, I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine, you’re covered in blood and clutching your side.”

“I didn’t come here for me, I came to check on the young woman I brought in earlier.”

“Oh, yes she’s right over here.” Their footsteps grew louder as they walked towards her cot.

“How is she doing?”

“Better, we gave her some healing potions and cleaned her up. But there’s one thing that hasn’t improved. Look at this.”

Once again Cecelia felt one of her eyes being pried open, she let it happen, curious as to what the healer was doing.

“Maker’s breath….” The Commander whispered. “That… that can't be normal.”

“No, I know mages can have uniquely colored eyes but she’s no mage and the color of her eyes now matches the breach. It’s almost as if the magic seared them. We’ve tried potions, slaves and even magic but nothing has reversed it. I doubt her vision survived this but we won’t know for sure until she wakes up.”

Cecelia sucked in a shaky breath and whimpered. She already knew the answer to that question.

“Is she awake?” The Commander asked in surprise.

“I-I don’t know, I didn’t think so.” The healer answered with shock in her voice. “Can you hear us?” She had obviously leaned in as her voice was closer now.

Cecelia nodded and slowly blinked open her eyes. “Dark,” she whispered up into the nothingness.

“What did she say?” The Commander asked.

“Dark,” the healer repeated.


	2. Blind

Blind? How could she be blind? Cecelia felt panic start to rise in her chest. She wiggled her arms free of the blankets and brought her hands up to her face. Her eyes, were her eyes still there? Her heart was racing as she gently reached her fingers out and touched her eyes. They were wet and sticky with ointment but still there. Her breathing was getting faster. She had to move. She couldn’t be blind, maybe the tent was just too dark. She’d be able to see outside. She pushed the covers off of herself and swung her legs over the side of the cot. Which way was the door? She stood and started walking despite the shocked protests of the healer behind her. She was still recovering so her legs were unsteady and it was unbearably dark. Her foot hit something and she jumped in surprise and anguish as pain shot up her leg from her toe. She swiveled around only to run into something else. How was she supposed to move around when she couldn’t see anything? It was loud in the tent and so dark, she was getting turned around and confused which just made her chest tighten even further. Her knee bumped into something hard causing her to stumble, and as she went to move around it her foot caught on something else. She tripped and fell, but before she had time to catch herself someone else caught her. 

“It’s alright, I’ve got you.” The Commander’s deep voice was in her ear and his strong arms were around her. Cecelia’s breath slowed slightly. “You’ve got to stay here. Come on let’s get you back to your cot.” 

He started to stand her upright, but Cecelia resisted. The words of Cassandra from before came flooding back to her. Whatever had happened at the conclave had killed almost everyone, and they were looking for someone to blame. She had survived so it made her look suspicious. They thought she had had something to do with the explosion and the deaths of all of those people. Cassandra had talked about taking her life for it. 

Cecelia reeled away from the Commander, “No!” She jerked herself free of his grasp. “You want to kill me!”

“What?” There was genuine surprise in his voice. 

“I heard what she said, that woman from before.” Cecelia backed up slowly.

“Cassandra?” He asked. The name sounded familiar to her but her groggy mind couldn’t quite remember. 

“Yes, she said I needed to pay for what I’ve done. She wants to kill me!” Her leg hit something behind her and she used her hands to work her way around it. “I’m innocent, I had nothing to do with what happened at the Conclave. You can’t kill an innocent person.” 

“That’s what you say but we won’t know for sure until we investigate further. So for now I can’t let you leave, I doubt you would make it very far, to begin with. So please just come lie back down.” 

A gloved hand closed around her wrist and Cecelia jumped. She didn’t know he was that close. “No!” She pulled away from him as hard as she could. She managed to break free but the motion caused her to lose her footing and fall backward.

She crashed into whatever was behind her. She felt the wood give under her weight with a crack and suddenly she was crumbling to the ground. She heard the clink of metal and the shattering of glass as she collapsed on top of what sounded like dishes and vials. The broken glass pierced her skin as she fell on top of it and she cried out in pain as she finally landed on the ground. She whimpered quietly, she was too afraid to move and could feel tears welling up in her blind useless eyes. So much was happening so fast. She was in pain and not only physically. She laid still for a moment sniffling. The tent had gone surprisingly quiet besides the occasional cry of pain. She heard shuffling next to her and turned her head in that direction. Something touched her and she quickly pulled away.

“Let me help you.” Came the soft voice of the Commander. She whimpered, “It’s ok, I promise I’m not going to hurt you. You’re covered in glass, so let me help.” 

Cecelia knew she needed help and when she didn’t protest the Commander went ahead and gently moved her off the table and pile of broken vials she had been lying upon. The healer was next to her in a split second already pulling out the large pieces that were sticking out from her skin.

“I had nothing to do with what happened at the Conclave. I didn’t hurt anyone. You have to believe me.” Cecelia pleaded.

“What were you doing up there?” The Commander asked. 

“I was working there.”

“At the Temple?”

She nodded, “Yes, I was helping with the Conclave. I went outside for a second to get some fresh air.” She shifted as she recalled what happened. “When I went to go back inside there was this light. I looked through one of the windows at it and then everything erupted in green. The walls of the Temple exploded in front of me. I went flying through the air and then everything went dark.”

“You don’t know what happened? You had nothing to do with it?” He questioned. 

“No, nothing. Do you really think I would do this to myself? Oww!” She jerked as the healer painfully pulled another piece of glass from her

“Sorry.” The woman apologized. 

“You have a good point.” The Commander sighed. “If you truly are innocent like you say, I will do everything I can to help you.”

“Thank you,” she said softly, grateful that he at least seemed willing to listen. 

“What’s your name?”

“Cecelia,”

“It’s nice to meet you, Cecelia.” A warm gloved hand grasped her own and gave it a gentle shake. “I’m Commander Cullen Rutherford, and the person in charge of taking care of you is healer Rachel.”

“Hello,” the healer chimed in from next to her.

“Where am I?” She winced again as she felt more glass being pulled from her back. 

“You’re in a healer’s tent near Haven, close to where the Temple was. The explosion that occurred at the Temple caused a breach into the Fade. Rifts are appearing across the landscape, demons are falling from the sky, it’s chaos. That’s why we’re looking for anyone who might know something about what happened.”

“I’m sorry but I can’t help you. I don’t know anything and I certainly didn’t do anything.”

“I’m inclined to believe you but that is not my call to make. You’ll stay here until the others have had a chance to talk to you.”

“I guess I don’t really have a choice do I?” Cecelia stated in defeat. 

“No, I’m afraid not.” He replied. His presence next to her was gone within a moment. “Keep her here healer, she’s not to leave.”

With a breeze of cold air, he was gone and Cecelia was being ushered back to her cot. She felt numb, first her vision and now it seemed as if her freedom was being taken from her as well.


	3. Accusations

Cecelia had been dozing peacefully until a strong grip yanked at the front of her tunic, tightening the material around her neck. She woke with a start immediately gasping in a surprised breath. Before she had a second to even remember where she was she was being dragged to her feet, nearly knocking over the cot as her legs twisted in the sheets. She stumbled and just managed to catch her balance before she was tugged violently forward. There was a cold breeze for a moment and then she was being pulled into the frigid air of the mountains. With another aggressive yank on her tunic, she was flung face-first into the freezing cold snow. A shiver immediately shot up her spine as she was enveloped in cold wetness. Her toes curled and her hands grabbed handfuls of ice as she pushed her face out of the snowdrift.

“Get up!!” A furious woman’s voice shouted from behind her.

Cecelia shook the snow from her hair as she tried to get her bearings. She was barely given time to breathe before she was being pulled back to her feet and her hands were quickly tied behind her back. She was so confused, her mind was racing. What was going on? Why was she being treated so violently? And by whom? Another push from behind sent her almost sprawling across the ground.

“Walk! Down the path!” Came the voice again, even angrier.

She made her way forward slowly. Too slowly for the person behind her as another push sent her stumbling forward unsteadily.

“Move it!” The woman yelled.

“Where?” Cecelia asked in desperation. She had no idea where the path was or where she was being led.

“Did I not make myself clear?” The voice sneered from behind her. With the sound of metal scraping against metal a sharp point was pressed into the small of Celia's back.

“Ok, ok, I’m going.” She whimpered as she blindly pressed on in the direction the woman had shoved her.

She didn’t know how long she had been walking, it felt like forever though. She was shivering and her bare feet were completely numb in the snow. She had stumbled and staggered her way clumsily down the mountainside to what she could only assume was the village of Haven. It was the only town anywhere near to where the Temple had been. Whoever was behind her had steered her through a couple of camps and around fighting until they had reached the bottom where she was led into the noisy bustle of a town. Footsteps were everywhere and she was jostled around by shoulders and hips as people shoved past her in a hurry. There was so much noise and talking that she couldn’t make out a single word that was being said. When she entered the town the woman behind her had wrenched her to a halt and cut her free of her bindings before leading her forward with a strong grip on her upper arm. She was practically shuffling sideways as the woman nearly dragged her along beside her.

She was led across the town and through some doors that sounded massive. The thud they made as they closed behind them echoed around the room. She knew the sounds and smells enough to recognize a Chantry when she entered one. She was led for a short distance through the Chantry before they went through another door, down some stairs, and along a hallway. It got colder and damper the farther they went until finally she was shoved forward and stumbled to the floor as she heard the sound of wood scraping against stone. Two hands grabbed her by the collar of her tunic and hoisted her up before throwing her onto a chair. She caught herself from falling off of it and steadied herself with a hand on the seat beneath her. She gripped the edge of the seat as the chair rocked for a minute on the uneven floor before settling into an unstable position. She moved to seat herself better in the chair and it tilted forward before slowly settling back down. Every time she moved the chair tipped in placed, rocking between the legs on the unlevel ground.

The room was quiet for a minute the only sounds being the dripping of water somewhere in a back corner and the pacing footsteps of an impatient person. Cecelia sat motionless in the wooden chair she was gripping in her hands beneath her. Her chest was so tight she could barely breathe. She was doing everything she could to stop from shaking. She didn’t dare make a single sound as she sat in pitch-black darkness, completely at the mercy of whoever had brought her here. A few more moments passed of relative silence before quick footsteps echoed down the hallway, growing closer and louder with each passing second.

“There you are Leliana, I’ve been waiting for you.” The woman who had brought her here spoke first, her voice sounded familiar.

“Sorry to keep you waiting for Cassandra, I had some other business to attend to.” A less harsh feminine voice with a different accent spoke from directly in front of her. Cassandra, she had heard that name used before. “Is this the woman?”

“Yes, found up at the Temple like the other one, only this one was not seen coming out of the Fade.”

“No, found a short distance from the Temple, almost as if she had been thrown away from it if I remember the Commander’s report correctly.”

“Almost like she was running away from it, or watching it happen.” Suddenly her tunic was yanked upwards and Cecelia along with it. “Tell me, who sent you to destroy the Temple? Was it the Mages? The Templars? Or a third party?”

“What? I-I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t destroy the Temple.” She stuttered back in response, surprised by the sudden accusation.

“Don’t take me for a fool! You and this other woman were the only survivors of the Conclave, you must have something to do with it.” Cassandra sneered inches from her face.

“No! I swear I had nothing to do with it!” Cecelia yelled back in desperation.

One hand released its grip on her clothes momentarily. A loud smack echoed around the room and there was a sudden sharp stinging pain that radiated from her cheek as her head jerked to the side and she was thrown back down fully into the chair. Cecelia blinked her eyes open in pain as she tried to comprehend what had just happened.

“Your turn Leliana.” She caught Cassandra saying as the ringing subsided from her ears.

“Tell me, what were you doing at the Conclave?” The other woman’s voice rang out in the small damp room. Celia didn’t answer as she was still trying to figure out what was going on and what these two women wanted from her. A tight grip suddenly pinched her jaw and her head was tilted upwards. “I’m waiting, and neither I nor Cassandra is very patient.”

“I-I’m a scribe for the Divine… or I was a scribe.” she stammered.

“A scribe, really? Then what were you doing outside of the Temple?”

“I… I-I went out to… to grab some air.” She was terrified at this point, unable to keep her voice from shaking and breaking.

“Tsk tsk tsk” a cool sharp point was pressed to the side of her face. Cecelia tried to jerk away but was held in place by the hand on her jaw. The edge slid down her face, along her neck, across her shoulder, and down her arm. “Wrong answer.” The blade was pressed into her skin and quickly drawn down her arm. She cried out in pain as she felt something warm and wet begin to trickle down her arm and drip off of her fingers. She whimpered as the blade was now brought to the other side of her face. “I’ll ask again, what were you doing at the Temple? Why were you outside when it’s a scribe's job to be inside taking notes?”

“They were taking a short break, the-the talks had been going for hours. It was stuffy inside, the tension was almost palpable. I-I…. please I don’t know what you want.” She cried as tears began to stream down her face from pain and terror.

“We want the truth, we want answers.” Leliana answered, still in the same eerily calm voice she had spoken in before.

“I am telling you the truth!” Cecelia pleaded.

“Why should we believe you?”

“I-I… um” she stammered, what was she supposed to tell them to make them believe she was credible?

“Exactly, we can’t. Now,” the blade began trailing down her body again. “Tell me, who is this other woman?”

“Who?”

“The one we found at the Temple with you.”

“I don’t know.” Once again a burning hot pain went shooting up her other arm as the dagger was dragged through her flesh. Her warm blood pooled in the crook of her arm before cascading downward to drip onto the cool stone floor beneath her feet. She cried out in pain again as she writhed in the grasp of her torturer. More tears welled up in her eyes. “I swear, I don’t know.” She sobbed.

Leliana's level voice spoke close to her ear. “You are the only two to survive the Conclave, so there must be a connection.”

“Well if there is I don’t know what it is.”

“You’re not very convincing. Tell me, what is your name?”

“Cecelia” she whimpered out through clenched teeth.

“And what is the name of the other woman you are working with?”

“I don’t know!” She cried in answer, gritting her teeth in pain.

Out of nowhere an intense, mind-numbing pain shot up her leg. She screamed in agony and quickly clutched at the burning area. There her hands found the dagger completely embedded in her thigh.

“I wouldn’t pull that out if I were you” Leliana advised coldly.

“Why are you doing this?! I’ve done nothing wrong!” She managed through the pain.

“You murdered the Divine and tens of other people! Because of you, the sky has a hole in it and demons are pouring into our world from the Fade. We need answers and quickly. The woman you are working with is unconscious and possibly holds the key to closing these rifts so at the moment you are the only lead we have” Cassandra answered her this time.

“I can’t help you because I had nothing to do with this! The explosion left me blind and injured, why would I do this to myself!? I wasn’t a threat to you before and I’m not a threat now, please.” She was sobbing and pleaded with them out of desperation.

A resounding crack reverberated off the stone walls as Cecelia’s head was flung back from a hard blow to the face. Her head lulled as her ears rang loudly, drowning out all other sounds. She blinked her unseeing eyes repeatedly out of instinct. Warm liquid was running down her face from her nose. It got in her mouth and dripped off her chin. The tangy taste of blood was not unfamiliar to her. She coughed as some blood trickled down her throat and felt the warm blood mixed with her spit spew out across her lap. She whimpered softly as her head fell forward in defeat and exhaustion.

“We will leave you here to think about your situation. I cannot look at you any longer without risking the chance of me running my blade through your gut.” Cassandra spat.

Cecelia listened to their footsteps slowly echo down the hall away from her until they disappeared into silence. Now the room was once again filled only with the sound of dripping water and occasionally blood. She could no longer smell the damp mildew odor of the room she was in, she couldn’t smell at all, instead, her sense of smell was replaced with the taste of fresh blood. She sat still for a moment listening to her ragged uneven breathing. She had no idea what she was going to do or how she was going to get out of this. All she knew was that her life was in danger and they had left her alone, injured and unbound in a room in the basement of a Chantry. She had to get away, she didn’t know where she would go, she just knew she didn’t want to be here when they came back. She took a moment to gather herself before she tried to stand up. She put pressure on the uninjured leg and tentatively put her other foot down before keeling over in pain. Her leg practically gave out beneath her from the tiniest weight on it. The pain was almost unbearable as it washed up and over her from the wound in her thigh. She gritted her teeth and took one hobbling step forward. She nearly collapsed from the pain but pushed through it. She needed to be strong if she was going to make it through this.

She put her arms out in front of her and began to slowly creep forward. Her fingers eventually brushed a cold stone wall and she felt along with it until she found the door. She hobbled out of the room and forward down what she remembered to be a lengthy hallway. She kept going until she made it to the stairs. She collapsed on the bottom step and sat for a moment fighting through the tears that were pricking her eyes. She took a deep breath and pressed forward up the stairs. She couldn’t walk up them so she crawled. It was a grueling climb filled with agony as she had to drag her practically lame leg behind her. She made it to the door at the top and pushed it open before hoisting herself up again. They had taken a left to enter the door so she knew she had to take a right to get to the exit. Slowly but surely she made her way across the Chantry. The building was eerily quiet but she figured it had to do with the chaos going on outside, she hoped the silence meant that it was empty. After some time her hands finally felt a large wooden door in front of her. It took all of her might and weight to shove the door open and when it gave she went tumbling out the other side. She crashed straight into someone and sent them both sprawling to the ground.

“Maker’s breath!” A surprised exclamation came from whoever she had run into.

Cecelia hit the ground face first, ramming the dagger even further into her leg. She let out a pained yell that was muffled by the snow surrounding her face. She quickly rolled onto her back and clutched at her wounded leg. She was whimpering and gasping in pain as she writhed on the ground.

“Are you alright miss?” A male voice came from next to her. “Wait… Cecelia right? Maker, what happened to you?” She felt a hand gently touch her wounded leg and let out another whimper.

“C-commander?” She started sobbing as she tried to sit up. “Help me, please help me.” She pleaded. She reached for him in the darkness that clouded her vision, trying to grab at him to make him understand how desperate she was.

“What happened? Who did this?” He asked earnestly.

She was sobbing uncontrollably, barely able to form words as she tried to speak. “Cassandra came and got me from the healer's tent, she-she brought me to the basement of the Chantry. She and L-leliana were asking me questions, they-they tortured me. But I can’t help you because I don’t know anything. I had nothing to do with what happened at the Conclave, please you must believe me.” There was a pause for a moment. Cecelia lay there breathing heavily in the frigid snow the tears on her cheeks felt as if they might freeze any second.

“What they’ve done to you is not right…” he let out a heavy breath. “But,” another pause, “We do need information, answers, anything to help us.”

Cecelia’s stomach dropped and the lump in her throat grew. “No, no you can’t take me back there.”

“I’m sorry but you’re one of two survivors and we don’t know if the other woman will make it. We need answers now, we don’t have time to wait.” He gently took her by the arm.

“No… no!” She tried to escape his grasp as he gently pulled her upright into a sitting position. “You can’t take me back. Please, I'm begging you.” She cried as she fought against him. “No! I won’t let you. They’re going to hurt me again, they’re going to kill me.” She flung herself away from him and landed face first in the snow again. She dug her hands into the frozen ground and pulled with all her might to try an escape from him. The motion caused her to scream out in pain as the dagger was dragged along the ground with her, tearing it through her leg even more.

“Hey, hey!” The Commander grabbed her forcefully around the shoulders to stop her and promptly spun her around presumably to face him. “Stop ok, just stop!” He must have seen the sheer horror on her face as his grip became much softer and he lowered his voice. “It’s alright, I’m not going to let them hurt you, I promise. We just need information that’s all, anything you can tell us will be helpful.”

“But I don’t know anything.” She insisted as she continued to cry, not only in pain but terror as well.

“We just have to be sure.” With that, he draped her arm over his shoulders and wrapped his arm around her waist. “Alright, up we go.” He hoisted her up to her feet. The pressure on her injured leg caused her to wince. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you looked at as soon as we can.”

The Commander helped her through the Chantry and back to the stairs that not minutes before she had agonizingly crawled up. She couldn’t do the stairs again, not in the condition she was in so the Commander carried her the rest of the way back to where she had started. He was surprisingly gentle with her being as he thought she may be a murderer and a liar. He placed her back down in the wooden chair and once again she sat at the mercy of those around her.

“Ah Commander, it seems you caught our prisoner for us.” Came a familiar voice from the hallway. “You saved us the trouble of going after her, thank you.”

“There is no way you simply forgot to restrain her down here.” He replied in an unhappy tone from beside her chair.

“No, we wanted to see if she would leave and where she would go, although thanks to you she didn’t get far.” Cassandra's irritated voice came from the same place Leliana’s had.

“That’s more thanks to you. Look what you’ve done to her. This is unacceptable.” He sounded stern and almost angry.

“She’s a murderer! She killed the Divine and tens of other people at the Conclave!” Cassandra raised her voice in irritation, her tone made Cecelia recoil in her seat in fear.

“You don’t know that, not for certain. You could be needlessly torturing an innocent woman who has suffered from this more than we have. You have no proof she has done anything wrong except that perhaps she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. And even if she is guilty I would rather one guilty person go free than a thousand innocent people tortured and imprisoned or killed. This isn’t right. I can see maybe you Leliana, you’ve always been a cold one but not you Cassandra.”

“I can’t believe you’re defending her!” Cassandra shouted back.

“I’m not defending her! I’m just saying that this has gone too far. You won’t lay another hand on her. You can ask her as many questions as you like but you won’t hurt her any further, I won’t allow it.”

The room was silent for a moment, the tension almost palpable. Then someone huffed. “Fine,” came Cassandra's voice, “but if she is guilty then it is on your head.”

“So be it. I would rather that than the torture and death of an innocent woman be on my conscience.”

“You’ve participated in enough of that already have you?” The snide remark was biting.

“You are on thin ice Cassandra.” The Commander growled back. An uncomfortable silence filled the room and was only broken by the sound of another pair of footsteps.

“Cassandra,” an unfamiliar male voice spoke.

“Solas, has the other woman awoken?”

“I came to tell you that-”

“Solas I need your help for a moment.” The man they called Solas was interrupted by the Commander.

“Cullen,” Cassandra hissed but she was ignored.

“Can you heal this woman? At least enough to safely get that dagger out of her thigh?”

“I can.” His reply was short and concise, a hint of confidence in his voice, almost as if he regarded the question as a foolish one.

“Then please,”

There was some shuffling and then Cecelia felt a hand placed on her thigh and she flinched out of fear. Without warning the dagger was suddenly yanked from her leg. She screamed in pain and had to force herself from moving as another hand closed over her wound. She was expecting more pain but instead, a warmth flooded over her. The heat was the hottest near her wound and permeated the rest of her body from there. It was soothing and she could feel the wound on her leg close.

“Don’t heal her all the way,” Cassandra interjected in an annoyed tone.

The warmth stopped and the hands released her. Cecelia let out a slight breath of relief, she already felt much better. There was some shuffling and hushed voices and then footsteps echoed away down the hallway.

Cassandra addressed her. “We have more questions while we wait.” Wait for what? Cecelia thought. “Who are you and what were you doing at the Conclave?”

“I told you already, my name is Cecelia and I was a scribe for the Divine.”

“Then what were you doing outside? Why weren’t you inside doing your job?”

“The talks had been going for hours. I was tired and I needed a break and some fresh air, that’s all. I went outside, with the Divine’s permission, to take a short break. When I went to go back inside I saw a flash of green and then the Temple exploded in front of me. I don’t remember much after that until I woke up in the healer's tent. I didn’t do this to myself and I certainly didn’t kill the Divine or anyone else. I had no reason to.”

“What about this other woman?”

“What other woman? The only people I knew personally were the Divine and some of her people and as far as I know, they were all killed.”

“How long had you know the Divine? How long did you work for her?”

“I’ve known her since I was 12 and I officially started working for her when I turned 18.”

“Twelve?”

“Yes, I was young and in need of a mentor. That woman was like a mother to me. I never would have hurt her.”

“Sometimes the people who are closest to you are the ones you least expect.” Leliana chimed in.

The interrogation was lulled by the sound of heavy footsteps. Some chains rattled and something heavy was placed on the floor beside her chair. There was more shuffling and movement with a few words thrown in and then whoever had entered the room left. The chains rattled again. A soft moan emanated from beside her. It sounded as if something sparked and then metal scraped against metal.

“Where am I?” A soft female voice spoke from beside her.

“Tell me why we shouldn’t kill you now?” Cassandra threatened.

“I-I don’t know what’s going on, please”

Cecelia felt for the woman. She knew exactly what she was feeling. They questioned her relentlessly just like they had questioned Cecelia, just with less violence.

“What about this woman, do you know her?” Cecelia’s chair was jerked to the side. She had to quickly grab onto the sides of the seat to keep from falling off of it.

“N-no, I’ve never seen her before.”

A paused, “Come, it will be easier to show you what happened.” There was the sound of metal clinking and feet shuffling and then a hand grasped her wrist and pulled her up. “You too.” With that, she and she assumed the other woman as well were led out of the room and up the stairs.


	4. Sight

The stairs were easier the second time around without a dagger embedded in her leg. Luckily Cassandra had her by the arm and was leading her along. She didn’t know where the Commander or Leliana had gone and she was beginning to remember why those names sounded so familiar. She felt stupid for not realizing it sooner. The two women were the left and right hands of the Divine. She had taken notes at a few of their meetings with Justinia. She had only met them a few times as they hadn’t been involved in her life at all. She was sure they had learned who she was but she didn’t know if they remembered her however, she certainly remembered them.

When they got outside Cassandra began to speak to the other woman. Her name was Evelyn and she had been found after she fell out of the Fade. They spoke of a mark on her hand that they believed could seal the Breach. Cecelia allowed herself to be towed along quietly, it wasn’t like she had much of a choice. They walked back out of Haven and up the mountain pass again. Celia still didn’t have proper shoes or a coat. She was afraid she would freeze to death before they got where they were going. Her feet were already numb and she kept tripping over things that were buried in the frigid snow.

They passed over a bridge and through a small contingent of soldiers before they were stopped by the sound of flaring magic. Evelyn cried out in pain beside her and Cecelia immediately jerked to a halt. Her arm was released from the Seeker’s grasp and she took a few cautious steps away from the cries of pain. According to Cassandra, the mark was killing the young woman and they needed to hurry. Once Evelyn had regained her composure they started up the path again. 

They came to another bridge and were a good way across before suddenly there was a cacophonous crashing sound. The stone beneath her feet shook before shattering to pieces. The bridge caved in beneath her and sent Cecelia and the two other women tumbling down the broken piles of stone to the cold ice below. The jagged stone pieces cut into her as she slammed into them. When she finally hit the ground all of the air was knocked from her lungs and her head throbbed with pain from the impact. She groaned as she rolled onto her side and tried to right herself. As she made it onto all fours the ground shook again, it jostled her and caused her to slump forward. She moaned again in annoyance and pain as the motion caused her to smash her face into the ice beneath her. 

She was just managing to get to her feet when Cassandra yelled out. She said something about staying behind her but Cecelia had no idea why. She had her hands on her knees still trying to get her bearings when she heard a horrible snarling sound. The sound of fighting also reached her ears and that’s when she managed to stand completely upright. She was nearly knocked onto her back again by what she saw. Yes, saw. She could see no more than a few meters in front of her a horrible looking creature and another one exactly like it a little farther away. They were grey and ghastly looking with long claws. Cecelia could see nothing else but these creatures. She tried to back up but within a few steps bumped into a rough piece of stone. She pressed herself against it and tried to slow her breathing.

A few moments passed as she kept her eyes trained on the creatures. She watched as one gave out a screeching cry and began to sink into the ground it looked like it was being sucked down. When it completely disappeared she briefly saw a puff of smoke and then the nothingness that had taken her vision returned. Just as they had appeared both creatures were suddenly gone. Cassandra and Evelyn argued for a moment over weapons but Cecelia was barely paying attention. She was still reeling from the fact that she had just seen something with her apparently blind eyes. She knew she was truly blind and yet this had given her some hope. If she could see these creatures then maybe there was a way for her to see entirely again. She didn’t know. She knew nothing of magic or medicine. Especially the kind of magic that had seared her eyes.

“Let’s go.” A hand grabbed her around the wrist and yanked on her arm.

“Di-did you see those creatures?” She asked still stunned. 

“What?” The pulling on her arm ended abruptly. 

“Those horrific creatures, did you see them?” She asked again. 

“Yes, they were demons that fell from the breach. How did you see them? I thought you were blind. Have you been lying to us this entire time?!” Cassandra's voice rose in anger as she grabbed Cecelia’s tunic and pulled her closer.

“N-no I swear! Those have been the first things I’ve seen. I can’t see anything else. I really am blind, I just… I can’t explain it I just know what I saw.”

“I don’t trust you.” The Seeker growler, even closer now. Cecelia’s heart was in her throat. She was so afraid and confused. “Let’s keep moving.” Cassandra released her clothes and grabbed her arm again as she began to drag her along behind her.

She had no choice but to once again follow the ornery Seeker and her supposed coconspirator. As they came around the next bend her life became even more of a nightmare. It was like her prayers had been answered in the cruelest way. She could see, yes, but she was only seeing demons. Two more monsters faced them around the next turn in the path. They looked exactly like the previous demons they had encountered, gray and snarling with lifeless eyes. Evelyn and Cassandra cut through both entities with ease and once again they seemed to dissolve into the ground. After the quick fight, she was tugged down a hill and onto some ice as they continued onward.

It wasn’t more than a few steps before Cecelia was seeing more demons. Another Shade as Cassandra had called the previous grotesque creatures and one they had not encountered before. A simple green glowing creature with no legs that hovered above the ground. Her arm was released as she assumed both women were rushing back into battle. She figured she was safe from the fight at such a distance until she saw the floating green creature launch a ball of glowing energy from its height above them. The ball landed quite a distance away from her at least that’s what she thought from what she could make out. Depth perception is hard when you can’t actually see the world around you. She watched again as the demon began to coalesce a sphere of green energy in front of it. It’s body turned as it released the attack and Cecelia watched as the ball streaked straight toward her. She tried to get out of the way as fast as she could but the movement caused her to slip on the ice beneath her feet. She fell backward and landed right on her ass just as the green ball flew over her head. It hit right behind her and she felt the wind on her back from the impact. She looked back up at the green entity but it was now occupied with something else. When they both vanished from her sight she heard footsteps approach her.

“Come on, we need to keep moving.” Cassandra’s hand wrapped around her upper arm and hoisted her to her feet. 

The rest of the way up the mountain was no safer. They ran into demons along the entire path. Shades and wraiths were abundant everywhere. Celia had never seen a demon before and was not prepared for seeing so many at once. She was so confused and disoriented. She simply did as she was told and walked where she was led.

“Where are all these demons coming from?” She asked the darkness that had taken her vision once more after another pair of demons was defeated.

“There’s a giant breach in the sky, a hole into the Fade. They’re falling from it.” Came the reply from Evelyn which surprised Cecelia. 

“Where?” 

“Right…. there.” Evelyn gently grabbed Cecelia's face and tilted it up toward the breech. 

She gasped when suddenly her vision was filled with green pulsing light. The hole in the sky was massive it swirled and throbbed as it glowed eerily down upon the world beneath it. At its edges were hundreds of demons all hoarded together. They looked as if they might burst through the veil at any second and come raining down upon them. The throng of demons was moving like a wave, it looked as if they were all vying for the next opportunity to be released upon the world below. She watched in awe and horror as suddenly part of the group slipped through the torn veil and began plummeting to the ground in a ball of glowing green. 

“I can see it. There are demons everywhere up there.” She muttered in shock to herself mostly. 

“You can see the breach?” Cassandra spoke this time. 

“Yes… and all of the demons surrounding it, waiting for their turn. I can only see it when I look right at it though.”

“This is not good, we must hurry.”

They began a long trek up a steep flight of snow-covered stairs. They were icy and uneven making them difficult to climb even under normal circumstances. Cecelia kept slipping and hitting her shins on the stone steps. She was sure that by the end of the climb her legs would be bruised and bloody. Her numb feet certainly didn’t help her situation. When they reached the top she could hear fighting close by. Cassandra let go of her arm and called to Evelyn to hurry as they got closer. 

“Cecelia….. your eyes…. they’re glowing,” Evelyn mumbled this before being pulled away by the Seeker’s urgent cries. 

This left Cecelia standing there alone and unguided. Her eyes were glowing? She didn’t know what that could mean. She swiveled her head around to try to hear what was happening but the fighting was too loud to make out any details. She slowly took a few steps forward and that’s when she saw what they were fighting. More demons and what looked to be a tiny breach. It was like the giant one in the sky just smaller and closer to the ground. There were fewer demons surrounding this one. As she watched the last of the already materialized demons fall she saw the rift suck more demons from the Fade into it and begin rematerializing them in the physical world. With a flash of green more wraiths and shades appeared from the rift. She could see what was coming through before it even appeared. She watched the fight from a distance in silence. When all of the demons were defeated a familiar male voice called out and suddenly more light appeared in her vision a small stream of green light coming from a tiny source next to the rift. The rift and other light pulsed in sync and then the rift was gone and her vision was dark once again.

She stumbled toward where the light had been in hopes of not being forgotten when they moved on. She made it pretty far before her feet collided with something very hard and she tripped and fell forward. She caught herself on something, or someone, as the object was warm and covered in cloth. 

“Are you alright?” Came a familiar voice but she couldn’t remember who it belonged to. 

“Yes, I’m so sorry.” She righted herself and took a step backward, nearly tripping again as she did. 

“This is the other prisoner Varric.” Cassandra chimed in.

“How many prisoners do you have Cassandra? You seem to be pulling them out of thin air. Did you pull this one straight out of bed? She’s in a nightgown.” She hadn’t heard this male voice before. “Glad you didn’t pull me out of bed being as I sleep in the nude.” The voice was filled with humor and Cecelia heard Cassandra give an audible sound of disgust. 

“Cecelia,” a hand grabbed her shoulder and gently turned her. “Your eyes…. Oh, they’re not glowing anymore.” Evelyn said, sounding a bit concerned. 

“Glowing?!” The Seeker exclaimed, sounding unhappy as usual. 

“It's nothing, I must have just imagined it.” Evelyn quickly replied before releasing Cecelia.

“If everyone is done introducing themselves then we need to keep moving. We need to make it to the forward camp, and quickly.” Cassandra's voice was a bit fainter indicating she was already moving. 

Snow crunched around her, small rocks were shifted as feet passed over them and wood creaked in front of her. She gathered that the group was moving and tried to follow. She shuffled forward with her arms outstretched and feet scraping the ground, they seemed to have forgotten her. 

“Watch out!” 

The warning came too late as Cecelia’s thighs hit something hard and her weight sent her toppling over it. She fell face-first onto the cold frozen dirt and rolled until she was lying on her back, dazed and confused. 

“Are you alright kid?” The voice was close and concerned. 

“I’m fine.” She groaned. She could feel something warm trickling down her face and reached her hand up to touch her nose. “Am I bleeding?”

“Yeah looks like you hit your face pretty hard. Here,” a hand grasped hers and helped pull her up into a sitting position. She held her head in her hands for a moment before regaining her bearings and standing up. “You can’t see, can you?” The male voice came from low in front of her. She shook her head no. “Damn it Seeker…” he mumbled under his breath. “Well here,” her hand was grasped once again and placed on a very stout but low shoulder, that’s when she realized he was a dwarf. “Just hold onto my shoulder and I’ll lead you along.” Cecelia nodded and with that, the dwarf picked up a brisk pace to catch up with the rest of the group.

The decline wasn’t too steep but it was rocky and Celia kept tripping as her toes caught on everything beneath her. Varric was patient in front of her and was full of jokes to keep the mood light as they moved along. As they reached the bottom Cecelia could make out more demons, quite a few this time. Varric told her to stay where she was as his shoulder left her grasp and she assumed they all rushed into battle. She stood where she was left with her feet sinking into the snow. She couldn't do much besides just listen to the sounds of battle. She had to keep wiping her face as blood kept dripping into her mouth from her nose. She was sure she looked like a mess at this point. She watched the demons vanish one by one and eventually the fighting stopped when all of them had been vanquished.

The group continued over some slick ice and up another steep set of steps. Demons were everywhere along their path forward. Cecelia didn’t think she would ever get used to the horrendous sight of them. After a long climb that had her legs burning they finally reached a flatter area but with it came another green swirling hole. Demons filled the area and more threatened to pour out of the tear in the veil. Two wraiths and two shades faced them at the top of the stairs. The men that must have been around the rift were screaming for help. Cecelia stayed back again and looked on as the demons were killed and the rift was sealed by something that looked like a much smaller one. She had seen the small green flare of magic moving around the rift while the demons were being fought and she assumed that it must be the mark Cassandra and Evelyn had been referring to.

Heavy sounding doors were opened and the group of them were let through. Cecelia was led along by a tight grip on her arm, she presumed it was Cassandra who was holding onto her. She was hastily tugged behind them as they continued forward. There was a bit of hustle and bustle around wherever they were so she assumed it must have been some sort of camp or station. They met with Leliana again and a very angry sounding man who was apparently a Chancellor. He demanded to have Evelyn and Cecelia put in chains and treated like the supposed criminals they were. Cassandra surprisingly refused and vouched for their innocence or at least Evelyns. They decided to head to the front to fight with the rest of the men, but they left Cecelia behind. 

Chancellor Roderick wasn’t happy with anything that was going on and demanded that Cecelia be guarded by a soldier, so some poor man was assigned to watch her sit on the ground and wait for whatever was going to happen to her. She had lost all control over her life since the Conclave and was resigned to sit on the cold stone and wait. She tugged her legs up to her chest and hugged them close to her body while she buried her face in her knees. The cold air chilled her to the bone and she couldn’t help but shiver as she sat there. The wind whipped whatever loose hair it could pick up around her head and froze her ears. She listened to the movement and talking that surrounded her as what she assumed were soldiers and survivors scurried around trying to help in whatever way they could. She felt useless and utterly defeated in her current state. Not able to tell what exactly was going on or what was going to happen to her. She eventually started gently rocking back and forth in an effort to calm her rising nerves and the tightness in her chest. After a while, the commotion around her seemed to pick up. She listened intently as a large number of footfalls approached and clamored across the stone bridge. 

“Johnson, help him to the healer's tent, please. Rylen! Where’s Captain Rylen?... Jim, what are you doing? Why aren’t you at your post?”

“Ser,” a pause, probably for a salute Cecelia assumed. “Seeker Cassandra asked me to watch over this prisoner here.”

“What prisoner? I saw her with a prisoner at the Temple ruins.”

“This one ser.”

There was the sound of cloth ruffling, leather shifting and metal clanking before the deep voice of the Commander reached her ears again but from closer this time. “Cecelia?” She raised her head and looked in the direction the voice had come from.“Makers breath, what was Cassandra thinking bringing you along? Are you injured? You look as if you’ve been bleeding.”

“I’m fine, I just hit my face… on the ground.” She mumbled. 

“Captain Rylen! The Commander shouted. 

“I’m right here ser there’s no need to yell.” Came an unfamiliar voice with a hint of amusement to it.

“How long have you been there? You know what, never mind. I need you to take this prisoner back to Haven. I’ll be staying here with the troops and wait to see what becomes of Cassandra's group and the breach.”

“Yes ser, Commander. Up you go, lass.” A hand grabbed her by the arm and tugged her up to her feet. 

“She’s blind Rylen so keep that in mind.”

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t get left behind. Come on lass.” He kept his grip on her arm and began to lead her along back down the way she had come.

They had been walking for a while, picking up the injured but able on their way and adding to their little group. Suddenly she heard gasps from all around her. The ground shook beneath her feet and the wind blew strongly for a moment before everything went silent. 

“By the Maker, I think they did it,” Rylen said under his breath from next to her. 

“Did what? What happened?” She asked as she turned toward his voice. 

“I think they stopped the demons, whatever the Seeker and Leliana did had some effect. I guess we won’t know for sure until they come back. Come on, everyone keep moving!” He ordered as he pulled her along with him as they began to walk again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing a blind character is harder than I thought it would be.


	5. Realizations

She was brought to the dungeon once again and the Captain locked her in a cell. He left her unchained which was probably only because she couldn’t see, so she really wasn’t going anywhere.

“What did you do?” The Captain's voice echoed a bit in the Chantry basement. 

“They think I had something to do with the explosion at the conclave.” She replied timidly, slowly turning in her cell to face his voice. 

“Did you?” He pressed. 

“No, I had nothing to do with it.” She urged. 

“Then why do they think you were involved?”

“I survived the explosion, that’s the only reason.”

“The other prisoner survived as well but they found her walking out of the Fade.”

“She walked out of the Fade?” She exclaimed in surprise.

“Aye, came right out of a rift and passed out on the ground. Did you come out of the Fade as well?”

“No, I just happened to be lucky enough to survive or maybe unlucky enough.”

“Well if you’re innocent the Commander will make sure you’re set free. His trust is hard-earned but he doesn’t stand for the unfair punishment of innocent people. The Seeker isn’t all bad, she was just very close to the Divine and wants justice.”

“I understand.”

After that, she heard his footfalls echo down the hallway away from her and she was left alone. She let out a heavy breath and just stood for a moment, her mind surprisingly empty. She shuffled around her cell looking for anything to sit or lie on. Her feet scraped across the stone floor until they finally caught on something softer. She knelt down and felt the ground at her feet where she discovered a bedroll. She climbed on top of it slowly. It wasn’t very soft and smelled of mildew and old hide. She laid on her side and listened to the quiet pitter-patter of water dripping down the stone somewhere in the room. Her body was a bit sore from everything that had happened and it felt good to finally rest.

She must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew she was being startled awake by the terrible sound of metal scraping against stone. Suddenly, a hand grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet. She stumbled in the grasp momentarily and reached a hand out to try to grab anything to keep herself from falling. Her fingers grazed a metal bar and she latched onto it and pulled back against the hand dragging her forward. 

“Hey!” She exclaimed. 

“Come with me, we need to talk.” Cecelia recognized Cassandra's voice by this point. She was tugged a short distance before the hand released her. “Tell me again why you’re innocent, why I should believe you.”

“Um…” she was still trying to gather her thoughts. “I had nothing to do with the explosion at the Conclave. I would never hurt the Divine, she was like a mother to me and I would never do this to myself.” 

“What exactly was your relationship with the Divine?”

“She took me in when I was a child and mentored me and then when I was old enough I became a scribe for her.”

“Wait,” hands grabbed Cecelia’s face and tilted it. “What color were your eyes before?”

“Um, hazel…” she didn’t understand what was going on. 

“Blessed Andraste, I don’t know how I didn’t remember you earlier. The Divine took you in but you were kept a secret because it’s unconventional for the Divine to have children. But she told us about you briefly and I remember meeting you a few times when you took notes in some of our meetings. Forgive me, I should have remembered earlier, just with everything going on…” she trailed off for a moment. “I’m sure Lelianna didn’t have any lapse of memory.”

“I should have realized who you and she were earlier as well but without my sight, it’s been a bit...difficult.”

“I can’t imagine, I’m sure how you’ve been treated has not helped. I am not too prideful to admit when I have made a mistake and I believe I’ve been wrong about you, I hope with time you can forgive me. Come, I am supposed to meet with the others to discuss what is to happen now and I believe we should clear your name with them as well.” 

Celia immediately heard Cassandra's feet walk away from her and cleared her throat. “I know we’re on good terms now but if you could still kind of drag me along with you that would be helpful.”

Cecelia swore she heard a breath come from Cassandra that could have been mistaken for a laugh. “Here, come” she felt a hand once again close around her arm and she was gently led along out of the Chantry dungeon and up the stairs.

They turned left at the top step instead of right which meant they were staying in the Chantry. It was a short walk through one door and into a room where she could tell from the chatter that people were already waiting. 

“Ah, Cassandra… is that the prisoner?” It was Leliana’s voice. 

“A prisoner no longer. I believe Cecelia is innocent.”

“You’ve had a quick change of heart.” She also recognized the Commander's voice. 

“I knew Cecelia before and her relationship with the Divine and I’m sad to say it took me until now to recognize her. I’m sure you knew who she was before Leliana, although I don’t know why you didn’t say anything.”

“Just because she was the Divine’s ward doesn't mean she didn’t have something to do with this,” Leliana responded.

“The Divine’s ward?” A new female voice asked. 

“I didn't know she had a ward.” The Commander added.

“Almost no one did because she was mostly kept a secret.” Cassandra clarified. 

“How did you become the Divine’s ward?” The Commander asked. 

“My parents died during the fifth blight when I was twelve and the Divine saw me begging and took pity on me. She took me in and helped raise me and when I was old enough I decided to stay and work for her.” Cecelia explained a little uncomfortably from all the attention that was on her. 

“Well, regardless, I don’t believe she had anything to do with it,” Cassandra interjected right when she finished talking.

“We should still keep an eye on her.” Leliana retorted. “You were quite sure of her guilt before, it doesn’t make sense to completely take our eyes off of her. She may go free but I suggest we put a watch on her.”

“Why? Where is she going to go? What is she going to do? She can’t see.” There was a pause, “I don’t mean to sound harsh and I apologize for talking like you’re not in the room.” 

Cecelia assumed the Commander’s last comment was directed at her. It was hard to tell who was talking to whom sometimes when you couldn’t see where everyone’s eyes were looking. She shook her head, “It’s fine, I understand.”

“Just because she is blind doesn’t mean she still can’t be dangerous, and just because she knew the Divine well doesn’t mean she didn’t have anything to do with what happened. We must be skeptical of everyone during this time.” Leliana wasn’t budging. 

“If she wants to watch me I don’t mind. I would just ask that I don’t have to spend any more time in that basement. I might be blind but even I can tell the darkness down there is oppressive.” Cecelia chimed in, she had nothing to hide and was prepared to prove it. 

“Then it’s settled, I’ll put a watch on her immediately.” Before anyone could respond Cecelia heard footsteps lead out of the room and the door close shut.

“I’m sure we can find you somewhere to sleep, you’ll need to talk to Threnn. She’s in charge of housing and supplies.” Cassandra said after a moment. 

“I can take her to talk to Threnn. I needed to ask her about swords for the soldiers anyway.” Some footsteps approached her. “Come with me.” She felt a large hand gently grasp her upper arm and begin to pull her forward. 

Cecelia followed along in silence, not sure of what to say or how to act at this point. In a second she had gone from being a prisoner locked in a cell to being led to find proper housing. They still didn’t fully trust her and she could understand their wariness to a point. But she knew she hadn’t done anything wrong, and therefore she had nothing to hide. The Commander led her out of the Chantry and a short distance to her right. She was trying to make a mental note of where everything was so that possibly in the future she wouldn’t need an escort and could move around freely by herself. She didn’t want to have to rely on others for everything now just because she couldn’t see. She would need to eventually get some of her independence back.

“Threnn,” the Commander spoke next to her and snapped her out of her mental mapping. 

“Ser, how can I help you, Commander? Are you here to ask about those swords for the recruits?” A rough accented feminine voice asked. Cecelia tilted her head and pointed an ear in the direction of the conversation as she tried to focus over the sound of the wind and conversations elsewhere.

“Yes actually, if we’re going through with our plans I’m going to need those swords.” 

“Listen, I'd be glad to give them to you but they’re not done yet. We don’t even have all the supplies necessary to make them.” Cecelia liked her unabashed straightforwardness, even when talking to the Commander. 

“What are you missing?” He seemed unfazed by her choice of words. 

“The question is what aren't we missing.”

“For the swords specifically I mean.”

“Iron and wood, what you would normally need to make swords.”

“Well I’ll have my men search for supplies of both, there might even be something in the general area.”

“Good, if you get me what I need then I can get you what you need. Anything else?” She sounded as if the conversation was beginning to waste her time.

“Uh yes actually, this is Cecelia and she needs a place to stay. Do you have any open beds within Haven’s walls?”

“Within Haven?” She asked in surprise. “You must be someone special.” Cecelia didn’t react to the comment. 

“Do you have a place within the walls she could stay?” He asked again persistently.

“I might, hold on,” there was some rustling and a long pause. 

Cecelia shifted on her feet and hugged her arms around herself. “You still need proper clothes it looks like, maybe we can get that taken care of too while we’re here.” 

Cecelia tilted her head toward the Commander while he spoke and nodded. “That would be nice.”

“Alright, so I have one bed open in the cabin farthest to the right from here.” The sound of flipping pages accompanied her voice as she spoke. “Other than that everything else is outside. The cabin was supposed to be saved for visitors but we can put her up in that and move the visitors to the Chantry if she desperately needs to be within the walls. Does that work for you?”

“Yes thank you, and one more thing-” Threnn groaned. “Could you muster up some spare clothes, jackets, and shoes for her as well. She has nothing.” 

“Sure I’ll have them delivered to the cabin. Is that all?”

“Yes, thank you Threnn.” 

The Commander grabbed Cecelia’s arm again but she pulled away. “Could I just place a hand on your shoulder or something instead of being pulled around?”

“Um yes, of course, I apologize I don’t really know how to…” he sounded uncomfortable. 

“It’s ok, I don’t know what I’m doing either.” She reassured him. 

Her hand was placed on a very high shoulder and she grasped fur, of all things, that seemed to be covering plate armor. “What are you wearing?” She couldn’t help but ask. 

“What do you mean? My cloak?” He sounded surprised. 

“That’s a cloak?”

“Um… yes.”

“Hmm, interesting.” It felt like a mane if anything. 

Her arm stuck almost straight up as their height difference was substantial. She could feel all of the blood draining from her already cold fingers as the Commander led her slowly along the paths of Haven. She occasionally bumped into someone and uttered an apology as they passed. She felt that it might be a good idea to acquire a walking stick at some point to help her avoid walking into people and objects. Unless her vision miraculously came back but there was little hope for that. 

“Here we are.” The creak of old cold wood accompanied the Commander’s words as they must have reached the cabin and he opened the door. He led her inside and sat her on the bed. “It’s small but it should do. You may end up with a roommate at some point but that’s up to Threnn. There’s a chair in front of the fireplace to your left, a desk across the room in front of you and to the right is the door. Someone should be dropping clothes off for you at some point. If you need anything else just ask, I’m sure anyone in Haven would be willing to help you.”

“Thank you, this is already much better than the dungeon.” She took in a deep breath of the fresh air around her. The room was cold and smelled a little stale like it hadn’t been lived in recently. She felt the sheets of the bed beneath her with her hands and suddenly felt very tired. 

“I’ll leave you to rest, you look like you need it.” The Commander's heavy footfalls filled the single room cabin briefly before the door was clicked shut behind him.

Cecelia sighed and swung her legs up onto the bed. Her head had barely hit the pillow before she was dozing off. Her dreams were filled with color, taunting her about what she could no longer have. She saw the Divine and the Temple and the explosion of green. A knock on the door startled her awake suddenly and she shot upright in bed. Another knock, she shook her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts and the grogginess from her mind. Again there was a knock on the wood of the door. 

“Coming! I’m coming.” Celia called out as she stood from the bed. 

Her cloth-wrapped feet touched the rough cool wood of the floor. She shivered, the room was freezing. The Commander had said the door was to her right. So she turned in that direction and began to walk slowly. She felt her way forward with her hands, trying to avoid running face-first into anything. Eventually, her hands hit a wood planked wall. She felt along the rough surface for the outline of the door. There was a bump and a frigid smooth surface, a window perhaps? Then some more worn wood, it felt old and well used. A sharp pain in her fingertip had her pulling her hand away. A splinter she suspected. She kept feeling with her other hand until she felt another wooden frame, she felt down the right side of it until her fingers grazed a freezing cold orb. She grabbed it, turned, and pulled and the door gently creaked open.

“Hello?” She asked into the darkness.

“Hello, Threnn asked me to deliver these to you.” It was a feminine voice with a heavy accent and a bit of a lisp, it sounded timid.

“Oh, the clothes? Yes, thank you, um…” She went to put her hands out to take them but stopped. “Actually could you bring them in and place them somewhere please?”

“Of course,” Cecelia opened the door more and stepped back a bit to give her some room. Quick, light footsteps in, a soft thud and then the steps came back. “Where did you put them?” 

“Just on the table.”

“Where?”

“Right over there.”

A pause, “Could you show me?”

“They're right there.”

Another pause, “I mean could you bring me to them?”

“Oh… oh, you’re her. Yes of course, sorry about that. I didn’t know, I mean…” the girl fumbled over her words. 

“It’s alright,” Cecelia hand was grabbed by one that was an equal size to her own and she was led across the room. “What did you mean by ‘you’re her?’ You’ve heard of me?” Her hand was placed on a pile of cloth on the top of a table.

“Yes, there’s been talk around the town. Just rumors and such.” She sounded a bit uncomfortable. 

“What do they say?” Cecelia pressed. 

“Oh, um nothing much, just that there were two women found at the Temple. One of them was blind, the other walked out of the Fade, saved by Andraste herself. That one will save us, she has power in her hand to close rifts, she’s Andraste's Herald.”

“And the other?”

“The other...” silence for a moment. “The other’s eyes shine green like the rifts. She caused them and has the power to control them and the demons they produce. When her eyes glow and she turns them upon you she turns you into a demon to do her bidding.”

Cecelia’s stomach dropped, that’s what they thought of her? She was a victim just like everyone else and yet she was painted as a villain. The cause of all of this turmoil and all of the deaths. No wonder this girl sounded uncomfortable, she thought she was in the presence of evil. 

“I-I have to get back to work now.” Before Celia could reply the girl was rushing out of the room and she heard the door shut behind her.

Cecelia couldn’t believe what she had just heard. She was almost thankful for the fact that she couldn’t see the looks on people’s faces when she walked past them. Her hand was still on the pile of clothes and she was rubbing the fabric between her fingers absentmindedly. She sighed and began to undress. She was cold and couldn’t wait to get into some nicer, warmer clothes. As she tried them on she discovered they were a bit big but she wasn’t complaining. Luckily the shoes fit quite well. She was still tried so she slowly felt her way back to her bed and laid back down. She had no idea what time it was but her body was telling her she was tired so she went to sleep.


	6. Rumors

When she awoke again it was to a commotion outside. She rubbed her eyes out of instinct even though it was no use to her vision or helpful in rousing herself. She sat up and focused on the noise, it sounded like many people talking all at once. All of the voices were quiet but they overlapped so she couldn’t make out anything anyone was saying, but the noise sounded close like it was right outside her door. She got up off her bed and slowly made her way to the front of the cabin. She found the door handle with only a little difficulty and opened the door. The cold breeze that blew into the room made her shiver and she pulled her cloak that had slid down her arms up and over her shoulders. She could hear more clearly now the quiet voices of the people that sounded like they were all around her. She was thankful for the shoes that had been provided for her when she stepped forward and heard her feet crunch through the snow. Another step forward and she ran into something, it was a bit soft and moved when she bumped it. 

“Hey! Watch it!” A harsh voice found her ears. 

She winced, “My apologies,” she tried to step around him but bumped into something else. 

“Excuse you!” Another angry voice. 

“Sorry, sorry,” she managed to push past them and a few other people before she stumbled forward and fell onto the snow-covered ground. She pushed against the pebbles she could feel beneath her cold hands until she was upright and sat for a moment trying to get her bearings. She heard a few gasps around her and then the whispers began.

“Isn’t that her?”

“The blind one...”

“Look at her eyes,”

“They say-”

“-killed the Divine.”

“Why is she free?”

She could only make out bits and pieces of the conversations around her but none of what she was hearing was good. The girl had been right, there were rumors and they were running rampant. She didn’t know what to do or say so she just sat there stunned and motionless.

“Lady Cecelia?” It sounded like a confused young man. 

“I’m not a lady but yes that’s me.” She replied towards her best guess of where he was standing. 

“The Herald and advisors are asking for your presence in the war room.” 

“Oh…. um why?” She felt nervous all of a sudden. What if they had changed their minds about her innocence?

“I don’t know Miss, I’m just the messenger. I was told to lead you back, so I’ll just help you up and then if you’ll place your hand on my shoulder we can go.”

She stuck her hand out and a gloved hand grasped it and pulled her up. Her hand was placed on a shoulder covered in thick coarse fabric and she was led away from the whispers of the crowd behind her and up a flight of stairs. She remembered the sound of the weight of the Chantry doors and knew when she was being led inside. The Chantry was mostly quiet and the sound of their shoes on the stone floor echoed around the large room. Another door was opened and closed, her hand was removed from the shoulder and then the door clicked shut. 

“Thank you for coming, Cecelia.” A woman’s voice with an accent she wasn’t used to hearing greeted her, Antivan perhaps? She remembered her a bit from her last meeting with them.

“It’s not like I had much of a choice.” She replied, her voice a bit shaky from her nerves.

“We’ve asked you here because the Herald has told us some interesting things she saw on your journey to the breach together, and Cassandra has backed up at least part of that story.” The Commander continued getting straight to the point. 

“The Herald?” Who was that? She wondered.

“It’s me, Evelyn. I told them about your eyes, how they glowed.”

Cecelia struggled to swallow past the lump in her throat. “I-I don’t know anything about that. I can’t see my own eyes, I can’t even see.”

“But you can see demons.” Cassandra’s accusatory tone made Cecelia tense. 

“I… um…” she didn’t know what to say, she didn’t want to lie and possibly make it worse but if she confirmed what they all knew it would look bad as well. 

“There’s no point in lying to us, we will get the truth, one way or another,” Leliana added in a cold voice. 

Cecelia shivered at her words, “Please no, not again, I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

“Then tell us about the demons, can you see them?” The Commander asked. 

“Yes…” she replied hesitantly, “I can see the breach, the rifts, and the demons that come from them, but that’s it I swear. I didn’t cause any of this and I can’t control any of it.”

“What do you see exactly?” The Antivan woman again. 

“Um, I don’t know, the Fade I guess and demons. When I look at the rifts I can see what demons are trying to come through and then I can see them when they do enter our world.”

“That could be extremely useful, that’d be a great advantage on the field.” From the sound of his voice the Commander must have been deep in thought. 

“I agree, but where do her glowing eyes come in?” Cassandra asked. 

“I only saw them glow when we approached the rifts. So they must glow due to proximity.” Evelyn sounded like she was standing right next to her.

“Well this certainly gives us, even more, to think about.”

“Agreed,” Cassandra replied to the Commander. “For now we should head our separate ways and do what needs to be done, thank you all, dismissed.”

Cecelia heard some shuffling and papers rustling as everyone left the room. She waited where she was as she felt everyone brush past her. When everyone had left she let out a sigh. That had been stressful. She took a deep breath and began to turn around to find her way out of the war room. 

“How are you settling in?”

Cecelia jumped at the sudden voice and nearly fell over out of surprise. Her hand was clutching her chest as she took deep breaths to steady herself. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you.” She heard through the pounding in her ears. 

“Commander,” she finally managed. “I didn’t know you were still here. I thought everyone else had left.”

“Everyone else besides you and I, yes. How’s the cabin? Did Threnn get those clothes to you?” She heard footsteps move closer toward her. 

“Um yes,” she held out the loose fabric of her clothes to show him. “And the cabin is fine, thank you.”

“Good, glad to hear it.” The footsteps paused, “I’m heading back to the training field, would you like me to lead you to your cabin?”

“That would be great actually.” Her hand was placed on his tall shoulder and he led her out of the Chantry. “I would really like to get a walking stick.” She said as she stumbled behind him a bit.

“That’s a smart idea, would you like me to ask the quartermaster about getting one?”

“Can’t I just grab a stick from a nearby tree and call it a walking stick?”

“You could, I guess, but if you want a nice one I can inquire about that for you.”

“No, you’re a very busy man I’m sure, I’ll figure something out…can I ask you a question?” She said after a brief pause. 

“Of course,”

“Have you heard the rumors?”

He let out a small chuckle, “I’ve heard plenty of rumors.”

“I mean the ones about me.” She clarified. 

He sighed, “Yes, I’ve heard some whispers about it, but I know they’re not true. I for one believe you and I don’t think you had anything to do with what happened.” 

“Thank you, it’s a bit of a relief to know someone believes me. Especially since it seems I’ve lost a little bit of what trust I had from the others.”

“They’ll come around, I don’t think it’s as bad as you think. Alright, well here’s your cabin. Good day.”

His footsteps were quieting into the distance before Cecelia could even respond. She turned and felt for her door handle to let herself in. She didn’t know what time of day it was or what to do with herself so she explored her little cabin inch by inch. She felt her way around the room trying to memorize the place of everything. She knew it would take time but if she spent a little bit of each day feeling her way around her one-room cabin she could stop being afraid of running into everything and might feel more comfortable and more at home. When she was done she sat down on her bed to rest and reflect. She hadn’t taken the time to really let everything sink in yet. Everything still felt so surreal. She couldn’t believe Justinia was gone along with her old life and eyesight. She had never been one to feel sorry for herself, if she had been life would have gotten her down long ago. But she couldn’t help the feeling in her chest. The feelings of dread and hopelessness threatened to consume her if she dwelled on them too long. How unfair her circumstances were was hard to deny. She needed to take her mind off everything so she decided to try and find the tavern.

She found her way out of the cabin and then wandered forward aimlessly. She hadn’t thought far enough ahead to realize that she had no idea where the tavern was or how she was going to find it. She stood for a moment in the cold mountain air and listened. It was quieter out and colder, she couldn’t feel the heat of the sun on her skin so she assumed it was night time. The hustle and bustle of the small town had died down considerably but there was a lot of muted noise coming from directly in front of her. She started slowly heading in the direction of the only noise to fill the night air. She felt her way forward step by step and as she got closer the noise got louder. It was definitely muted which meant it was inside but it sounded like music and a lot of voices all overlapping, it had to be the tavern.

Her hands eventually hit a solid slab of old wood. She felt along it until she finally found the door. It was slightly ajar and music and laughter were pouring out of the tiny gap. She could feel the heat from the air inside, it felt and sounded welcoming. She pushed the door open and slowly made her way inside. It was packed and so loud she could barely make out what was going on. Boisterous laughter, music, singing, endless conversations, flirting, she heard it all. A small smile crept across her face. She wasn’t one for big gatherings or groups of people but it was nice to not feel so lonely and be surrounded by forlorn spirits. She seemed to go unnoticed and took that as a good sign. She stuck to the wall and felt her way around the room. She apologized as she pushed past a couple of people. She finally found the bar and surprisingly an empty stool to sit on.

“What can I get for you?” She was greeted by a cheerful sounding young woman. 

She raised her head and heard a gasp, “Um, just water please.”

“C-coming right up.” She sounded afraid all of a sudden. Cecelia sighed, it must be her eyes and the crazy rumors spreading about her. There was the sound of glass clinking and then something scraping against wood. “H-here’s your water.”

Cecelia stuck her hand out and felt around for a moment until the back of her hand hit a cool, water droplet covered surface. She picked it up and took a sip, “Thank you,” Her thanks was met with silence so she sighed and let her head droop back down.

“You may be blind but I see you’re not too blind to find the tavern.” Cecelia jerked in surprise at the sudden voice so close to her.

It sounded like Captain Rylen, she smirked, “What? I thought this was my room.” She gasped as she feigned surprise. 

She heard a chuckle, “Ah, a sense of humor, I like you more already.” She heard the stool next to her creak. “Let me buy you a drink. You’ve had a rough few days after all.”

She held up her glass of water, “I already have one.”

Large warm fingers closed around her hand that surrounded the cup and tugged it at an awkward angle. “Water?”

“I grew up in the Chantry, raised by Mothers and the Divine. There wasn’t much drinking.”

“Well we need to rectify that. Flissa, two ales here.” A few moments passed and then she heard the scraping sounds of glass against wood. Her water was gently pried from her fingers and replaced with the handle of another glass. “Cheers,” the clink of glass and the slight vibration in her hand accompanied the happy cry from the Captain beside her.

She smiled and took a swill of the ale. She sputtered a bit and heard the Captain laugh. “It’s been a while.” She cringed at the flavor as she tried to remember the last time she had a drink.

One drink soon turned into more, at least for the Captain, Cecelia just stuck with the one. Soon she was feeling the effects of the alcohol, she felt warm and more relaxed. She had definitely needed a distraction and someone to help her loosen up. She was smirking as the Captain nudged her playfully with his elbow and smacked his drink back down on the bar. Cecelia felt what little that was left of the drink splash out of the glass and spatter across her nearby hand. She shook the droplets off her hand and wiped them on her pants. She couldn’t see but she could definitely feel the world spinning around her.

“I think I’ve had my fill, thank you Captain but I should go.” She went to stand up and nearly toppled over. 

“Whoa, let me help you there lass.” She heard the Captain say but she ignored him and stumbled forward trying to feel her way out of the tavern. 

She only stopped when she bumped into something hard. “You should watch where you’re going.”

Her head lulled back as she tried to look up at the voice. “I would if I could.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realize… are you alright?” 

She could feel herself swaying on her feet. “She’s fine, Ser, just had a bit to drink.” An arm suddenly steadied her. 

“I assume this is your doing, Rylen?” The Commander didn’t sound all too happy.

“She looked like she could use a drink, and a friend. I’m helping her home now though so goodnight.”

Cecelia was ushered forward faster than she would have liked. “Hey!” 

“Oh sorry, just didn’t want him ruining our fun.” The Captain slowed but kept his grip on her.

“Why? Is he a bore?”

There was a pause, “The Commander, is above all things a good man.” He spoke deliberately like he was choosing his words but Celia could hear the respect he held for the man. “But loose and fun are not two words I would use to describe him. I believe uptight is the word of choice among the men.”

“You know him well then?”

“Well enough, most people would refer to me as his second in command. I would prefer a cooler title but,” she felt him shrug, “It is what it is.”

“What does he look like?” She asked out of curiosity.

He laughed, “Really?”

“Well I keep meeting all of these people but I have no faces to put to the names. When someone mentions them all I see in my mind is their name or title.”

“‘Swoon-worthy,’ is one of my favorites I’ve heard from the barmaids. He has all of the women in Haven smitten. I’m a lover of women and even I can admit the man is an attractive one. He’s tall, built, blonde, a bit scruffy, a scar on his upper lip, the whole package.”

That’s not what Cecelia had pictured at all when he had been described as uptight. She was thinking he would be older. “What do you look like?”

“Me? Well now that’s a good question. Strapping if I do say so myself. Short, dark, and handsome.” Cecelia giggled, “Not as tall or as built as the Commander, lither. Tan skin, dark shaggy hair, blue eyes, face tattoo, scars, I’m the whole smaller package.”

“A bit full of yourself,” she chimed in.

“Well, what can I say? When a cute young woman asks what I look like I don’t hold back.”

“Oh is that it?”

“Of course,” she could hear the cheeky grin in his voice. “I believe this is your cabin.”

“Thank you Captain.”

“My pleasure.”

Cecelia turned and felt for the doorknob, it took her a moment before she found it and was able to let herself in. It was just as cold in the cabin as I was outside and Cecelia regretted not asking the Captain in to make a fire for her, she would have to have someone show her how eventually. At the moment she was too tired and buzzed to care all that much and instead just climbed into bed to ward off the cold and sleep off the alcohol.


	7. Discussions

Cecelia coughed and then coughed again as she roused from her sleep in the middle of choking on her own spit. She sat up and coughed some more before she could finally catch her breath. She rubbed her eyes and stretched before she heard a knock at her door. 

“Miss,” another knock, “Miss!”

“Coming!” She called back as she moved to get out of bed. 

She misjudged where the edge of the bed was however and fell face-first onto the floor. She groaned in pain as she peeled her face off the rough wood floorboards. Tiny splinters from the old wood got under her fingernails as she pushed herself off the floor. Not again! She thought as her nose throbbed with pain. 

More knocking, louder now, “Miss!”

“I’m coming!” She yelled again as she slowly made her way to the door, being extra careful of where she put her feet. She opened the door once she managed to find the handle and shivered as the cold air rushed in. “Yes?” She asked into the unchanging blackness that greeted her. 

“Oh, um…. your nose is bleeding.” Came a concerned unfamiliar male voice dripping with a thick Starkhaven accent.

“It is?” Her fingers reached toward her face and pressed gently beneath her nose. Her fingers immediately felt a warm liquid covering her upper lip. She began to taste the metallic tang of blood in her mouth as it trickled down from her nose.

“Here,” she heard rustling and then a pause. She didn’t know what was happening so she stayed still. “Oh, sorry, um… excuse me.” A cool gloved hand gently grabbed her wrist and turned her palm upwards. A piece of cloth was placed in her open hand, what she could only assume was a handkerchief. 

“Thank you,” she said softly as she brought it towards her nose. She pinched her nose to stop the flow of blood and winced. Her face was very tender and her nose was throbbing. “What did you need?” She managed from behind the cloth in a nasal tone.

“Oh, right, the Herald and Advisors would like to see you in the war room.” 

“Alright, let me just change.” She tried to hand his handkerchief back. 

“Um, you have a little under your nose still.”

“Oh,” she wiped the cloth above her upper lip a few times. “Better?”

“Yes,” he took the cloth from her. “I’ll wait here.”

She closed the door and quickly changed into what she hoped were appropriate clothes. She had no idea what she looked like anymore and was almost certain that whatever she was putting on looked ridiculous. Her hair was probably a mess and besides the small basin in her room that she used to wash what she could she hadn’t bathed since the explosion. Her nose scrunched at how gross she must look but the thought quickly left her mind as it was replaced with the pain the face she made had caused.

“Alright, I’m ready.” She stated as she opened the door again. 

“Ok, follow me.” 

She heard the man's footsteps leading away and tentatively stepped out of the cabin doorway. She tried to follow the sound of his footsteps as he crunched through the snow that covered the ground. She walked out in a straight line for a few steps before pausing. Haven was bustling with life. She could hear people all around her, everyone talking and shuffling around. The snow crunched beneath feet in every direction and she lost track of which sounds were being made by the man she was meant to follow. She turned left, trying to remember the path to the Chantry. 

A hand suddenly grabbed her arm and she jumped. “I’m sorry Miss, didn’t mean to startle you, it's this way.” He intertwined her arm with his and began to lead her along. 

“Thank you, I was about to be entirely lost, and only feet from my own cabin door.” She giggled, she figured it was better to laugh than being sad for herself.

“No problem Miss, just doing my job. The Commander told me of your… predicament said I needed to accommodate you.” He answered in a friendly but professional tone.

They entered the Chantry and Cecelia heard the large wooden doors clunk shut behind them. The noise echoed around the room as well as their footsteps across the stone floor. When they reached the other side of the large room her escort knocked loudly on the war room door. They entered when they got confirmation. The man unwrapped his arm from hers and stepped away from her.

“Thank you, Patrick, that will be all.” The Commander said from across the room. 

After Cecelia heard the door close she heard someone clear their throat. “Right, Cecelia we brought you here to talk about-” The Herald started but was interrupted by a frustrated sounding Commander. 

“This is ridiculous, I can’t believe we’re actually talking about this.” She heard heavy footsteps, it sounded like he was shifting a lot or maybe pacing. “I mean to seriously consider this is insanity! You can’t honestly-”

“Commander! That’s enough! Let the Herald speak.” Cassandra scolded him.

The Commander huffed in annoyance but remained quiet as the Herald continued. “As I was saying we wanted to discuss something with you.”

“Did I do something wrong?” Cecelia asked in concern as she drew her arms around herself. 

“No, actually we are asking for your help.”

“My help? How can I help you? I can barely help myself.” She gave a nervous giggle but quickly fell silent as no one else was laughing.

“We’re serious, we think you can help us,” Cassandra said into the awkward silence that filled the room.

“We are hoping that your ability to see the demons in the rifts could help us. From what we have learned there is usually a minute or two between the rift waves and knowing what we will be facing next could be a big advantage.” The Herald explained. 

Cecelia took a moment to think about what they were telling her. “So… you want me to come to the rifts with you?”

“Yes,”

“We can’t seriously be asking her this.” The Commander muttered. 

“If you’d like to voice your concerns now Commander you may.” The Herald countered. He muttered something almost unintelligible again.“Loud enough for everyone to hear.” She added.

“Fine,” he huffed, “We can’t seriously be asking her to do this. She’s blind,” he paused, “Forgive me Cecelia, but she’s right she can barely help herself. I’m sure she is a capable young woman but she’s blind let alone newly blind. She can’t even make her own way around Haven, there’s no way she would survive in a fight. We would be sending her to her death, and I can’t support a decision like that.”

“The Herald and myself as well as all of our troops risk their lives every day, why can’t we ask this of her?” Cassandra responded. 

“Are you joking?! You are all capable, trained fighters! I can’t believe I seem to be the only one here who cares about this young woman’s well being, Josephine?” The surprise and frustration in his voice were evident. 

It was quiet for a moment before the Ambassador's gentle voice filled the room. “I-I must agree with the Commander, this seems foolish. How can she help us if she is injured or dead? Sorry…” the apology was clearly directed at Cecelia who gave a small nod of understanding. 

“Cassandra, you and Leliana have not cared about her since day one, so why should we listen to your advice? If you had your way she would be dead by now!” The Commander continued. 

“I apologized for my mistake and I will again if I have to. I did not recognize her, I only met her maybe three or four times. If I had known who she was I would not have been as suspicious, but everyone was a suspect and I was trying to do the best I could, I didn’t see you helping out with trying to find the Divine’s killer.” Cassandra countered. 

“I was too busy trying to keep the demons out of Haven, I’m sorry I wasn’t available to be your little errand boy!” The Commander yelled back. 

“Enough!” The Herald shouted loud enough to be heard over their bickering. 

The room was silent for a moment. “Isn’t all of this my decision in the end?” Cecelia finally spoke up. “I appreciate everyone’s concern but unless you are going to force me to help whether or not I join you is ultimately my choice. And Cassandra there is no need for you to apologize again, we honestly only met a few times and many of them were brief encounters, I don’t blame you for not recognizing me.”

“Yes, of course, it is, I apologize, but I just want you to know how much it could help us, you would be helping us save Thedas and countless lives. We don’t ask you this lightly.” The Herald replied.

“How about we adjourn and let her think about it for a few days.” Cassandra was surprisingly the voice of reason this time. 

“Agreed,” replied the Herald, and everyone in the room slowly filed out.

Someone cleared their throat, “Hold on, don’t tell me… Commander?” She guessed with a smile.

“Impressive,” she heard a small smile in his voice. 

“Not really, I mean you were the only man in the room…”

“Good point…” there was an awkward silence for a moment. Cecelia had no idea what was happening if he was moving to walk away or standing there waiting for a response. What if he was just staring at her? She shifted uncomfortably on her feet. He cleared his throat again, “Well, that was an interesting meeting, how about I walk you to your cabin and we can talk on the way.”

“Sure,” she stuck her hands out in front of her and palmed the air.

“I’m to your right…” came a slightly amused voice from closer to her side. 

“Oh,” Cecelia could almost feel herself blush. She turned to the side and her hand immediately smacked into something solid. 

She gave him her right arm and he chuckled. “Your other arm, unless you’d prefer to walk backward.”

Another wave of embarrassment washed over her and she gave an awkward smile as she gave him her other arm. He hooked his arm with hers and began to walk. They were quiet as they walked through the Chantry and the Commander didn’t start speaking until they had left the building.

“Are you seriously considering this? Do you honestly think going out into the field and facing rifts is a good idea?” Came a sudden concerned question from the Commander as they exited the Chantry. 

She thought for a moment before answering. “Yes I’m considering it but no I think it’s a terrible idea. If I agree, it will most likely get me killed but I feel like I have to help. Everyone else is doing something to help and if there’s some way I can contribute then I feel like I should.”

“I understand that but…” he went quiet for a moment, “Is it worth throwing your life away? Because that is quite possibly what you will be doing. There have to be other ways you can help.”

“I know that, but I can’t think of a better way I can help. If I can even save just a few lives then…” she drifted off and started thinking of everyone that had died at the Conclave. The Divine, some of the Mothers that had helped raise her, the people she had worked with, and countless other innocent lives had been lost. Yet she had been spared, it had come with a price but even if she didn’t have her sight she still had her life. Why had she been spared? The guilt of surviving something that had taken the lives of so many others washed over her. She hadn’t really let herself think about it until then.

“Cecelia? Are you alright?” The Commander's voice cut through her thoughts. 

She realized she had stopped walking. She closed her eyes tightly to stave off the tears that had been forming and swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m- I’m fine I just…” she took a deep breath, “If I can just save a few lives and make some sort of difference then maybe- maybe I can- I- I don’t know, make up for all of the lives that were lost while mine was spared, repayment.”

“Ahh, survivors guilt, I’ve seen it before. Cecelia you can’t let those feelings control you, you have nothing to feel guilty about.”

“I lost almost everyone I cared about and my entire life and eyesight when that Temple erupted, I can’t just feel anything.” A large hand was placed on her shoulder and gave it three squeezes, she took a breath, it helped ground her.

“I understand, you lost a lot and I can’t imagine how you must feel. The Divine was like a mother to you, right?”

“She was, but she actually didn’t raise me much. It isn’t very well accepted for the Divine to have a child so I was sent all around Thedas and was primarily raised by the Chantry Mothers, they taught me and trained me.”

“And you decided to stay and work for her?”

“Yes, I got a decent education and I wanted to stay and work. She provided a good life for me and I wanted to repay her in any way I could. And look what she got in the end, she didn’t even get a proper burial and no one even has time to mourn her loss.” She went quiet. 

“I’m sorry,” the Commander was quiet too as they began to walk again. When they stopped after a while the Commander released her arm. “Here is your cabin… is that blood?”

“Where?”

“On your face, it’s right- right under your nose.”

“Probably,” she reached up and wiped under her nose. “I fell, um, out of bed earlier.” She said awkwardly as she wiped her hand on her pants.

“Maker, your poor face.”

“Yeah, it’s taken quite the beating over the last couple of days.”

“That’s a shame...”

“Why?”

“Um, I… ah, it’s just that, well it’s your face and… um…” he stuttered through an incomplete thought sounding very uncomfortable. “Wouldn’t want to damage it.” He finally finished.

“Yeah, another broken nose is the last thing I need.” She touched her nose gingerly. 

“Do you want me to take you to the healer’s tent?”

“No, it should be fine, I might stop and get a healing potion at some point, to be honest, I would much rather be taken to the bathhouse. I haven’t bathed since before the explosion, I can’t even imagine how terrible I must look.”

“You look fine,” the Commander reassured her quietly. “I could bring you to the bathhouse if you’d like?”

“I will definitely make my way there at some point. I wouldn’t want to keep you from your work for too long, especially since you are far too important and busy to be escorting me around, but thank you for the offer Commander.”

“Of course, good day.” She could hear his boots crunching through the snow as he walked away. 

“Damn I should have asked him to make a fire for me.” She said to herself as she opened the door to her cold cabin.

“A fire?” She heard from behind her. The voice startled her and she jumped slightly. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I happened to overhear you as I walked by on my quest to locate the Commander who is late for practice, which is completely unlike him.”

“Ah, Captain Rylen, I'd recognize that voice and accent anywhere. You weren’t coming to check on me after last night?” 

He laughed, “No, sorry lass I figured you were tough enough to handle a hangover.”

“Well the Commander just left, the meeting probably went longer than expected and then he walked me here on his way to the field.”

“So I just missed him?” She nodded, “Dammit, he’s probably at the field by now wondering where I am.” He sighed, “Well since I’m here I could make that fire for you.” He offered. 

“Won’t that make you even later?”

He made a dismissive sound, “Who cares, ten minutes late twenty minutes late, what’s the difference? I’d much rather help you then go bust my ass in practice anyway.”

“Alright,” she pushed the door open further and moved into the cabin to allow him to enter. 

She heard him walk in behind her, “It’s dark in here, well I guess it’s always dark for you.” He gave her a playful nudge to indicate it was a joke and then brushed past her.

There was rustling and scraping, some paper crinkling then a few scratches on some metal. Soon Cecelia could feel heat radiating from her left side, where the fireplace was. Footsteps walked back toward her. 

“There you go, all set, now I should probably get to practice before the Commander has my head.” He patted her on the shoulder before she heard him leave the room and close the door.


End file.
